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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 8, 2018 9:15:14 GMT
293 Words
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When They Call My Name
These thoughts will kill me
Thinking on it, Miles wasn't sure he could picture Will as a parent. Of course he had good memories of his brother when they were young, before their parents destroyed their lives, but given the way things were now, he struggled to maintain a positive outlook on Will fathering a child. Cassidy, he had not doubts about. She was a caring, loving and genuine human being. It made sense that Will fell in love with her, but it still posed the question of what she saw in him. Miles wasn't on the outs with his brother as much as Charlotte was, but he still had his reservations towards him.
He wanted to give her the reassurance she was looking for, but he hesitated and struggled to do so. By the time he was sure he could offer her something, she waved her hand and dismissed the subject entirely. Miles wanted to be an uncle, he really did, and he worried that Charlotte would never give that to him. Having Cassidy and Will's child as a niece or nephew would have been just as good and he'd have been the uncle of the year. He didn't want her to dismiss the thought entirely. Maybe Will wouldn't have been so bad at having a kid? If he loved their mother, surely he could love them, too?
Cassidy began bombarding him with questions about college and it made him want to puke. "I have no idea what I'm doing, to be perfectly honest," He answered with a short, humorless laugh. Miles frowned and ran his hand through his hair.
But I think I’ve found the light.
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Mar 8, 2018 9:29:31 GMT
86 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
Miles' answer to her question came as no surprise. She had been lucky enough to find her passion since she was a child. She had grown up in ranches as well as mansions. Her grandfather had instilled in her the love for animals through their morning routines taking care of his livestock.
Not many were that fortunate and it looked like Miles was one of them. It wasn't a strange phenomenon.
"School isn't working out for you?" Cassidy asked gently, taking his hand in hers again.
but still all we do is fear
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 8, 2018 9:37:24 GMT
191 Words
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When They Call My Name
These thoughts will kill me
Her question made him shrug. School had never worked out for him. Not in high school, not in college. What was worse was that the only way he'd gotten into college was that he had gotten a scholarship through lacrosse. It wasn't his grades or his brains that had made him go, just his skill at a game he'd been playing since he was eight years old.
Miles laughed again and shook his head, "At this rate my options are looking like gym teacher or lacrosse coach. Although I'm not sure I'd be all that good with either of those." Charlotte had been pushing him to go into training or to work towards being a counselor for newly manifested kids. She always told him how good he was with people, even through his awkward phases. He was a genuinely kind person who could make anyone feel better. The problem was that he didn't feel quite so confident in what his sister saw in him.
But I think I’ve found the light.
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Mar 8, 2018 9:45:53 GMT
70 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
Miles' view of himself made Cassidy frown slightly. She had never seen him play but if he was good enough to get to college by a sports scholarship, it could only mean he was good at it.
"Do you do volunteer work? Or...have you ever thought of doing that?" She asked. "Community outreach programs are always looking for volunteers. D'you think that would be something you'd be interested in?"
but still all we do is fear
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 8, 2018 9:51:31 GMT
231 Words
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When They Call My Name
These thoughts will kill me
He appreciated that she was trying to help guide him in some way towards something he could do, but her questions didn't make him feel any better. He shook his head in response to the questions and eventually let out a groan, his head falling into his hands. He was almost finished with his first year of college and he couldn't even think about where his future was headed.
"I don't know what I'm interested in," He mumbled into his hands. Miles dropped them and looked up at her, "All my life, I was just the good kid, ya know. I went to school every day, I kept my grades up enough to play sports, I went to practice and I came home and I worked really hard on my homework. Lottie could skip three days of class in a row and come back to a test the next day and ace it without hesitation. She knew what she wanted to do with her life from the time we were kids and it never changed or faltered." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I'm the black sheep of the family that can't figure out what I'm doing with my life."
But I think I’ve found the light.
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962 posts
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Authored by
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Mar 8, 2018 10:05:53 GMT
144 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
She gave a small sympathetic laugh as she stroked the back of his head, scratching the tips of her fingers through his hair in a soothing gesture.
The thought of Miles being the black sheep seemed so absurd. Just because someone doesn't do as well as the others didn't mean they were bad. It never made sense to her how people would say things like that in a family. With people who were supposed to embrace you for exactly who you were, not who you were supposed to be.
"You're eighteen years old, Miles. You're not supposed to have anything figured out. Just because some people know what they wanna do since they were kids, doesn't mean they actually know how to do it. College is your trial and error phase. You're way too young to think this is your end all be all."
but still all we do is fear
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 8, 2018 15:48:06 GMT
211 Words
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When They Call My Name
These thoughts will kill me
He took a deep breath, focusing on the soothing gesture. Miles wished that he'd always had someone like her as he grew up. It would have been good for him and Lottie to have an older sister that supported and encouraged them throughout their lives. He wondered if Charlotte would have ended up the way that she was had they been given a person that genuinely cared about them over the whole eighteen years they were alive. It would have done a lot, contradicting everything their parents had made them out to be.
Even through her words, he struggled to find anything positive about how situation. He was young, he had time, it was all just trial and error. He hated uncertainty, it drove him crazy. Miles wanted to have a path that he could follow, that he could stick to. There was nothing easy about trial and error.
Miles lifted his head and looked up at her, "You've got a lot of faith in a kid that you met through tutoring. Spencers are supposed to be brilliant and here I am, a dud."
But I think I’ve found the light.
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Mar 8, 2018 21:47:09 GMT
188 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
When Miles looked up, she tilted her head and regarded him. He was so unlike Will that being with him was so jarring. Not in a bad way, it was just so different.
She cupped his cheeks and brought him close to she could place a kiss on his forehead. "Your uncertainty of being brilliant is a very Spencer thing to do." She patted his cheek gently before retracting her hands to fold on the arm of the chair.
"You know, I'm pretty far from what my name suggests. You might not know what the Paige name holds but being a vet is not what it stands for." She chuckled lightly. "My entire bloodline is filled with doctors, lawyers, heads of corporations and politicians. And here I am, majoring in veterinary science and minoring in English lit. I'm not doing anybody any favours, especially not my family."
She reached out to grab his hand, sliding her fingers through his and squeezed. "Not to alarm you but not everyone is destined to follow the path their families paved for them. Also, not everyone's idea of brilliant is the same."
but still all we do is fear
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 10, 2018 7:05:11 GMT
239 Words
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When They Call My Name
These thoughts will kill me
The more she went on defending his intelligence and encouraging him to do what he needed to, the more he decided that she'd be a better parent than anyone would have thought. Obviously Miles knew that she was already a great person, but she also knew how to encourage and support people. She knew how to put up with stubbornness and she knew how to make people feel better about who they were and where they fit in. He couldn't imagine what his life would have been like if he'd had a mother like her.
He placed his other hand over their laced fingers and he squeezed back. It helped, her words and her encouragement, but it still hadn't eased his mind completely. There was still so much uncertainty, something that did not sit well with him. If he knew what the outcome of his life would be, he'd have felt much better. Even if it was terrible.
Miles sighed softly and smiled, "Y'know, I always kind of wondered how you got through to Will. I'm starting to get it now." He lifted his eyes up to hers and nodded, "I'm sure I'll get it soon enough, I just haven't yet and it's doing nothing for the anxiety problem I've already got."
But I think I’ve found the light.
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962 posts
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Mar 10, 2018 14:18:47 GMT
112 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
Miles' words caused Cassidy to blush before she played it off with a light punch on his arm. She nodded along with him as he came to his own conclusion. She gave him a bright smile and used her other hand to ruffle his hair.
"That's my boy. Although you can't really cure anxiety, trust me, I've been trying for years, but it helps if you surround yourself with people who do believe you are better than you think you are." She squeezed his hand and grinned cheekily. "Like me." Cassidy chuckled.
She leaned forward and pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're in my life, you know that?"
but still all we do is fear
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 10, 2018 20:22:47 GMT
209 Words
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When They Call My Name
These thoughts will kill me
His lips twitched into a smile and he nodded. He'd hoped to dispel of the anxiety eventually, but after almost nineteen years of straight anxiety, he didn't see an end in sight. But she was right, at least he had people that thought he was better than he gave himself credit for. Cassidy was a huge part of that, along with his twin and now his girlfriend. Overall, there wasn't much to complain about and his worries seemed silly with the three women that had his back.
Miles wrapped his arms around her just as tight and let out a light laugh, "Alright sappy. You sure you're not pregnant already?" He laughed again and kissed the side of her head, "I'm really glad I've got you in my life, too. I just wish Will would make you my official other sister already."
He had to wonder if Will was the marrying type. He hadn't said anything to any of them as far as it went, but he had to want that eventually. Who wouldn't want to lock down a girl like her?
But I think I’ve found the light.
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962 posts
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Mar 10, 2018 22:46:28 GMT
195 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
Cassidy gasped and pulled away when Miles made the joke. Playfully punching his arm, she exaggerated a frown. "Don't make jokes like that." She said before breaking out into a grin. She melted and cupped his cheek at his heartfelt compliment, blushing lightly at the idea of Will getting down on one knee for her. "Ugh, you're such a sweetheart." She sighed, feeling the prickling at the back of her eyes.
She was wondering the same thing, if she were being honest. Will was a hard one to put in one particular box. He had the makings of a dreamer but at the same time he was far too stoic to be one.
As much as she thought Miles had been joking before, it did make Cassidy wonder. She didn't normally keep track of her cycle but she did know around what time of the month it came and this month, it hadn't. She'd been so busy thinking about work and school that she hadn't thought twice about the possibility that what she was coming down with was... She stopped herself from thinking that.
"I haven't seen Charlotte since the trip either, how is she?"
but still all we do is fear
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 12, 2018 4:11:48 GMT
233 Words
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When They Call My Name
These thoughts will kill me
Miles lifted his hands in a surrender and laughed. He couldn't help himself, he'd been around his sister and her best friend a lot over the last few months. Not to mention the time he'd spent with James in England. His Spencer sass was starting to peek out.
When she changed the subject, he could feel his stomach clench hard at the topic. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised by her asking. It wasn't like she'd have heard anything through Will and Miles hadn't been around. Honestly he didn't even have anything bad to report...yet. Miles was just waiting for it though.
He cleared his throat and shrugged, "She's been busy with Max. And it's not the kind of busy anybody should have to see in public. But basically everybody does." His nose scrunched up as he thought about the few times that Spencer had nudged him towards a double date. What he hadn't realized was that it would consist of him and Spencer paying attention to the activity while his sister was groped in front of him. Miles shuddered, not a pretty sight. But there was more to it than he was willing to fully let on, so he stuck with the lighter topic.
But I think I’ve found the light.
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Post by Nu on Mar 12, 2018 5:05:00 GMT
104 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
Miles' initial reaction went by unnoticed as Cassidy took a sip of her still warm beverage but when he answered, her attention was back on him and she didn't miss the way there was a shift in the younger student. And even though the subject was light, there was a heavy underlying tone that Cassidy couldn't miss.
She did genuinely laugh at the picture Miles painted of the newly minted couple, however. "Oh you poor thing." She patted his hand and grimaced exaggeratedly. "Well, I for one am glad she's doing fine." She smiled as her eyes raised to meet Miles. "She's...fine, right?"
but still all we do is fear
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 12, 2018 5:13:05 GMT
253 Words
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When They Call My Name
These thoughts will kill me
Her response led him to believe that he'd played it off well enough to ignore the subject he was avoiding. However, when she lifted her eyes back to his, he knew that he hadn't. It wasn't like it should have been surprising to him for Cassidy to catch on quickly to the underlying tone to his words. She was dating Will who spoke with dozens of underlying tones at once. Miles still couldn't quite figure out everything that was beyond the surface of his brother with the strange mix of emotions he got from him, but he knew there was something off. Cassidy didn't seem to catch that though.
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before he held his hand out in a 'hear him out' kind of gesture. "Lottie's fine, right now, everything is good. She's honestly the happiest I've seen her in a while." Miles sucked in his lower lip and looked down. She was fine until she wasn't. "There's just...I'm just worried about her. It's probably just the over protective brother thing, y'know?" Which was a fib, a huge fib, but he couldn't quite bring himself to talk about the real problem. It was hardly even his business, but he knew about it because they were twins.
He had the same struggles she did, he just handled them differently.
But I think I’ve found the light.
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