Hurt - Spencer2

360 Words

These thoughts will kill me

The fact that Miles had left Spencer's dorm was a miracle in itself. He didn't like being too far away from her for long even though he knew that made him clingy and annoying. It was something his sister had had to put up with for almost twenty years. It wasn't that he didn't give her space, he did. They had their designated interests. It was just that when he was finished with lacrosse and school and tutoring, he wanted to spend the remainder of his time with Spencer, even if it meant just sitting and watching Netflix or doing homework silently together.

Practice had led him away this time and he'd been lagging behind so that he could shower and didn't go to see her a complete sweaty mess. He'd passed through the dorms, checked for her there and when he came up empty he knew where else he'd find her. On his way through he grabbed a few drinks from the student lounge and put a little more pep in his step once he made it outside and to her hiding spot.

Miles jogged closer, but was halted by the sudden rush of sadness that was pulsating from where he saw her. Instead of rushing towards her, he approached her slowly, not wanting to make her feel smothered or incapable of escape. Lottie always hated having people swoop in like they were about to save her. Once he was closer, he set the bottles down and sat beside her. Miles' hand rested on her arm for a moment before he tugged her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. It was times like this that he envied his sister for emotional manipulation because all he could do was sit there and feel exactly what Spencer was feeling without having the ability to strip it away. He pressed his lip to the top of her head and buried his face in the side of her neck, "I'm here, it's okay."

But I think I’ve found the light.

336 Words

These thoughts will kill me

Seeing Spencer cry was a shock in itself. Miles struggled really hard with the way her emotions were smothering him, but he couldn't leave her like this. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he panicked at the first sign of tears and ran to find his sister to deal with it? A crappy one. He tried to consume the emotions as they came, compartmentalizing hers with his own so that it didn't overwhelm him. He didn't want to feel her emotions with her, he just wanted to offer her the comfort that he could by being there. He wanted to focus on the concern he felt for her, and so he held tight to it as his arms tightened around her.

With her head against his shoulder, he placed his hand on the back of her head and pressed his cheek against the top of it. His other arm stayed wrapped around her, keeping her as close as he could get her. His hand on the back of her head massaged the back of her neck and he worked on maintaining a steady breathing rate so that she could mirror his. Miles pressed his lips to her forehead and he sighed, "It's okay, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here." Her apology made his heart drop and he shook his head, "I don't want you to be sorry, baby. It's in the job description of boyfriends. You're not getting rid of me."

After a few minutes of holding her close, he loosened his hold so that he could cup her cheek and lift her eyes up to him, "Do you want to tell me about it?" His fingers brushed away the tears from beneath her eyes and he leaned his forehead against hers, "You don't have to, but you can. You know you can."

But I think I’ve found the light.

398 Words

These thoughts will kill me

The overwhelming emotion coming from her was making his head hurt, but he showed no signs of fatigue. He didn't feel right to think about his ability over the way she was hurting. He just wanted to be able to make her feel better. He wanted her to be happy and smiling and wrapped in that same honeymoon silliness that his sister and Max were in. They'd been doing really well, and he knew this had nothing to do with him. But he couldn't help her which only made him feel inadequate as her boyfriend. He should have called Charlotte, she'd at least know what to do and her ability would have been useful.

Miles kissed the top of her head and breathed in her scent. He was happy to feel her breathing start to regulate and he could feel the shaking subside from her crying. Of course he knew that she wasn't miraculously feeling better, but he knew that she was at least in a position to talk and explain why she was feeling what she did. He could only understand so much from his ability. He ran his fingers through her hair and rubbed her back with his other hand. All he could do was wait for her to talk, he wasn't going to push and he wasn't going to pry.

When she did begin to talk, the first two words told him all he really needed to know. The matter of money was something that Miles no longer had to worry about and if that was one of her worries, he would do anything to take it away. Offering her money seemed odd and uncomfortable, so he kept that bit to himself for now, stashing it away to discuss with Charlotte later. Spencer didn't take handouts any better than the twins did, but it was for her sister and Miles knew that she'd do anything for hers just as he'd do anything for his. He tightened his grip around her and sighed, "You'll be old enough to be her legal guardian soon. And the courts will have to go with you because they're unfit. And if they don't, well, she'll be at the age of manifesting soon, right?"

But I think I’ve found the light.

377 Words

These thoughts will kill me

Being honest with himself, Miles knew that he had no idea about the legal system and how it worked. It seemed justifiable that if the kid was unhappy with the arrangements they should have a way of getting out of it. He and Lottie and even Will had all lucked out of their situation. Will being treated the way that he had and Charlotte being treated similarly, they never would have been happy remaining with their parents. He had to hope that Freya was a mutant too so that she could be as lucky as they were.

His eyebrows pulled together and he stroked her hair lightly as she talked. Just because they were giving her what she needed didn't mean that Spencer's absence hadn't been getting to her. Miles remembered wanting to leave with Charlotte when things got bad between her and their parents. He hadn't been treated as poorly, but watching his sister go through that made him start to hate his parents too. "Do you think she wants to leave because of the situation with you? Coming from a sibling standpoint only, it would make sense for her to feel neglected given that you have been. Even if they do dote on her. It's how I felt with my parents and how they treated Lottie."

Miles wished that he was smarter, that he knew more and that he could help her get to her sister. Watching how much it was tearing her up made him feel useless because there was nothing he could say to make it easier. He pushed her hair back and cupped the back of her neck, "We'll figure something out. We can talk to my uncle or my brother, see if they have any ideas. And if you need money...well you know all you have to do is ask. Lottie and I would help without hesitation." Everything that he said made him feel worse because he had to have help from others in order to help her. If it were Charlotte there with her, he knew that she'd have all the answers.

But I think I’ve found the light.

335 Words

These thoughts will kill me

He knew she was right. His parents had gone from one extreme to the next, but if they hadn't manifested things wouldn't have been bad for them. They were neglectful because of their insecurities and their jealousy. It had nothing to do with Charlotte and Miles themselves or that their parents were ultimately bad people. They had the same prejudices that most normal people had. Especially given that they had all mutant children. Not once had they caught a break from it and Miles supposed in some sick way he could understand.

In Spencer's case, her parents just sounded like bad people that shouldn't have been allowed to have kids. He wouldn't want to change anything because it gave him Spencer, but for her sake, he wished they were better. She buried her face in his chest, and he placed his hand on the back of her head, stroking her hair gently with his lips pressed against the top of her head. He just wished he could do something to make it better. He wished that he could find something about the situation that would give her the chance to bring it to court. Miles just wasn't sure what he could do.

Spencer pulled away and he tucked her hair behind her ear, his eyebrows pulled together in concern. "Don't do that, don't apologize for that. We all have our baggage, Spence. And we all need someone that we can go to just to get it all out of our heads," He brushed his thumb across her cheek and shrugged. "I know you have Charlotte for that, but you have me, too. I'm a good listener and I don't scare easy." He never would have been of use to his twin if he did. Miles may not have been a fighter, but he also wasn't a flight risk.

But I think I’ve found the light.

395 Words

These thoughts will kill me

That she was the one to say 'I love you' first was kind of a big deal to Miles. On the one hand, he felt guilty for not having said it when he was feeling it, but that would have been long before they began dating and would have likely made for a very uncomfortable situation. On the other, it was kind of incredible that someone like her could love someone like him. Here she was saying that he was such a great person, but he was no better than anyone else. He was just different in the way he looked at things and the way they were handled. It wasn't like he thought Spencer was a bad person, her and Charlotte had been through a lot of hard times and had things that affected the way they were around people. But both of them had always been good to him.

Meanwhile, as she thought he was this incredible being, he was awestruck by her.

Spencer was this strong-willed, independent and fierce woman that had gone through hell and back and still hadn't given up on everyone around her. The reason he was part of her life was because she'd allowed him to be. Back when the twins had met her, she could have just tossed him aside and focused on Charlotte. Of course their friendship was stronger than his and Spencer's, but it had always been underlying and he'd always felt like she noticed him in some regard, he just hadn't expected it to be in this way.

After a pause, he realized he hadn't said anything back, he was just staring at her like she was filling his line of sight completely. Which in all honesty, she was all he'd ever had eyes for. Miles leaned his forehead against hers and released the breath he'd been holding, his eyes sliding shut, "I wish you could see yourself the way I do." He pressed his lips to her forehead, mumbling against her skin, "I've loved you since we were twelve." His eyes met hers and he smiled sheepishly, in the hopes that he hadn't sounded like a total freak by admitting his love for her out loud.

But I think I’ve found the light.

247 Words

These thoughts will kill me

Miles was a little taken back by her reaction, but his arms wrapped around her waist just as tightly as her arms and legs were wrapped around him. With her lips urgently pressed to his, one of his hands slid up to the back of her neck and he reveled in her emotions. It felt warm and fuzzy, which was probably cliche, but his ability was wrapping around him like a pillow rather than like a vice. It was just easier than he'd expected and all of the painful emotions that he'd been nearly suffocated by at first were buried beneath the love he felt from her.

He took a moment to pull away and he tucked her hair behind her ear, "I think we should probably move this elsewhere, Spence. I may not be a virgin anymore, but uh, I'm still awkward." Miles laughed and pressed his lips to hers in small pecks over and over again, "But I really like kissing you, so I'm also kind of reluctant to move." That and she was still wrapped around him which he happened to enjoy as well. His hand dropped back to wrap around her waist so he could hug her and he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I'm so glad you said it," He mumbled against her shoulder.

But I think I’ve found the light.