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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 31, 2018 18:38:37 GMT
616 Words
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All The Boys
She came here to entertain you
Replaying the events of the last day her mother was alive had become a form of sick self-punishment for Adrian. She'd relive the scene over and over again in vivid detail. Leaving the room because the sperm donor of a father decided to come back into her life the moment her mother's was ending and wanted to chit chat. Turning the corner to see doctors rushing towards the room she'd stepped out of moments ago. Not being able to make it there fast enough and being caught by Dylan just as they were calling it. Those three words struck her harder than she could have ever imagined; time of death. The worst part was that they'd been in the hospital all week because things had taken such a harsh turn for the worst and Adrian hadn't left her mother's bedside once, no matter the coaxing by Dylan for her to eat or go home and sleep. No matter the weak feeling that came over her because she wasn't taking care of herself. The only reason she left was to get her biological father as far away from them as she possibly could. He'd taken her away from her mother and just like that, she was gone.
Of all the people to get her to leave...
Sleeping had escaped her, pleasantries were lacking, the funeral was all planned and the date set. The aftermath of her mother's passing had been a chaotic mess that started with the man behind her missing out on a chance to say goodbye. In the middle of the hospital she'd screamed at him and lunged for him, only to be held back. She told him that she'd rather be an orphan than ever have to put up with him as a parent. She hadn't heard from him since. Unfortunately, that hadn't been the worst of it. It was the drive home, sitting in the car with Dylan, that had driven her overboard. He'd been amazing the whole time they were out there, doting on the two Carstyn women, comforting Adrian when she was overwhelmed. And even with all of that, she hadn't been able to stop herself from pushing him away. He dropped her off and she was quick to tell him that she didn't want anything to do with him anymore. She'd reached her breaking point and having him around was only going to make her attach to him more than she had already.
Hard to believe it had only been a little over a day ago that it all exploded in her face. Adrianna was so sure that she'd gone completely numb because there was a sickening sense of calm settled around her. She was laying in the bathtub of her mother's house, staring at the ceiling as she thought back through all of it. Without any premeditation or any real warning signs, she slipped into the water, her face submerged and her eyes closed. All she could think about was how long it would take before she would want to come up for air. Would she want to come up for air? How would the funeral be handled if she didn't? How long would it take for someone to find her? Who would it be? All of the air in her lungs had been spent and now, she could feel it. What she was most surprised about was that her initial reaction hadn't been panic, but there was this serene feeling to it. It was so easy, just a little bit longer and then...nothing.
Isn't she a dream come true?
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Apr 1, 2018 14:11:32 GMT
842 Words
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imma say all the words inside my head
Don't you tell me what you think that I could be
Watching Adriana wither away along with Amelia was painful. He'd tried everything to bring her back but in the end, she told him she didn't want anything to do with him and as hard as it had been to do so, he let her go. For hours, he just agonised over going back. He knew leaving her wasn't the wisest choice because he knew exactly how she was feeling. He'd been through it and she was doing exactly what he had done with Cassidy.
He had called his baby sister to tell her about Adrian's mother passing away and they had another heart to heart. This time, Cassidy was a lot less cold towards him, knowing he had been with Adrian this whole time. Cassidy felt a pang of guilt for assuming the worst of her brother when he'd been doing what she hadn't been able to do due to her own life being a mess. She also felt envious of Adrian that she got the big brother Cassidy had wanted all those years ago, but on the whole, she was genuinely glad her best friend had someone with her through the whole ordeal.
Dylan wanted to tell Cassidy about being kicked to the curb but it didn't really paint a good picture of Cassidy's best friend so he kept that bit to himself. He did tell Cassidy about when the funeral was and Cassidy was quick to pencil in the date and asked Dylan to help with the travel plans.
When Cassidy revealed that she was pregnant, Dylan legitimately broke down in his hotel room. Every emotion he had been feeling for the past months about Cassidy, Adrian and Amelia bubbled to the surface and manifested into the tears he shed over the phone. Cassidy teased him for it but he heard her voice shift as the sniffles came through.
The rest of the conversation felt a bit stunted and awkward but they made huge progress over the hours and Dylan decided then that he couldn't let Adrian feel the way he had been feeling for all these years. He understood there was a difference in situations but in the end, pushing people away was just never the answer.
He'd said goodbye to Cassidy that night feeling so much lighter than he did before and planned to go over to Adrian's the day after.
He had gotten his work done in record time before he went over to Adrian's home. He didn't bother calling because he knew Adrian wouldn't answer. But when he arrived, he knocked first just to be polite. Another knock and still no answer so he fiddled with the back of the mail box near the door until he found the latch that held the spare key and unlocked the door.
Dylan called out her name, his chest squeezing as he realised Amelia was no longer in her room, ready to throw out a quip chock full of innuendo. Adrian wasn't in any of the front rooms, not even in her own so he checked Amelia's room and was hit with a wave of grief as he looked over the made up bed. He had only known her for a couple of months but it had been a good couple months of getting to know each other well and he'd grown to love her just as much as he had started to love her daughter.
Adrian wasn't in the room either so he went to the bathroom.
The sight he was met with made a chill run down his spine and consume him. "No..." he breathed out. The next couple of minutes of pulling her out, checking her breathing and calling the ambulance melted into a messy blur. Her pulse was so weak but still there so he had immense hope that she would pull through.
He did everything he remembered to do during those First Aid training courses his father made him go to while he waited for the ambulance to arrive. He couldn't put into words the relief he felt when he heard the faint sound of the siren. He grabbed a robe and covered her body before letting the paramedics in. He stepped aside the entire time and only moved when one of the medics asked him if he was coming with them. Everything seemed to be on autopilot with him as he climbed in the cab, watching them try to revive Adrian. Even at the hospital, he just stepped aside and when someone asked him who he was in relation to her, he answered with family.
He didn't really know how long or even short everything happened but he suddenly found himself on a chair beside Adrian's hospital bed. He had his head bowed as he started to cry. He just felt completely helpless, not knowing what to do as Adrian lay there with a tube stuck to her arm and her face so pale and sunken. The hospital robe fell shapeless on her. She didn't look like the Adrian he was used to.
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Apr 1, 2018 14:32:41 GMT
438 Words
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All The Boys
She came here to entertain you
For a while, Adrian's vision was just black. Her mind was empty and she felt better than she had in months. There was a faint burning sensation in her lungs and esophagus, but it was easy to ignore. Once the black faded, she was met with the murmur of voices, but it still sounded like she was hearing them through water. None of them were familiar so she did nothing to hold fast to them. It felt like forever, hearing those voices, but not quite being on the surface. She couldn't keep track of the time she spent in that state.
Adrian slipped back into the blackout once more, everything tuning out. This time when it faded, her senses all hit her at once. She heard beeping first, a little erratic, but otherwise steady. Through the blur of her eyes, she could see the outline of a room that was all too familiar. She'd know a hospital setup better than anyone at this point in her life. Her fingers were tingling and when she turned her head the slightest bit to look down at it, she noted the tube and someone sitting in a chair not much further away. Her brain was still hazy, she could only hope that this was where she'd find her mother. Ironic, they'd both die and end up in the place that they both hated in order to see each other. Her eyes shifted around the room, but she didn't see her mother anywhere. When her eyes landed back on the chair, the blur in her vision had cleared and she immediately took notice of who it was.
That was when it all made sense. She wasn't dead. Her heart rate spiked suddenly and she moved to take out the tube that was attached to her. Before she could, she realized that taking the tube out wasn't going to kill her any faster. Adrian's eyes darted and she looked for anything that might revert her back to the emptiness, but she came up short. Easing back into the bed, she could feel her chest tighten and her stomach flipped, she wasn't going to find her mother. She was stuck there.
Her eyes traveled from her hands, to the IV, to the chair and her jaw clenched, "You did this, didn't you? You found me and brought me here." Her voice was weak and scratchy, but the venom behind her words was still clear. "Who do you think you are?"
Isn't she a dream come true?
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Apr 1, 2018 14:44:40 GMT
133 Words
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imma say all the words inside my head
Don't you tell me what you think that I could be
Dylan looked up at the faint, raspy voice and he wiped at his eyes, eager to bring her close but her words stopped him, scratching at him as though they were claws. The vitriol spewing out from chapped lips had him clenching and unclenching his hands into fists. The rational part of his brain told him she was lashing out because of her mother's death. He accepted that. What he didn't accept was that she didn't want to be here.
The attempt was deliberate and to her, he was the monster that stopped her from succeeding in her attempt.
She wanted to die.
"You're lashing out." He pointed out the obvious because he didn't know what else to say to her display. He couldn't very well say sorry for not letting her die.
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Apr 2, 2018 5:48:56 GMT
226 Words
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All The Boys
She came here to entertain you
With her eyes settled on his face, she watched as he processed the situation. She took notice that he almost reached for her and also that he was quick to stop as she spoke. She also noted that he'd been crying, whether it was from the sight of a dead girl in the bathtub or from the words that came from her mouth, she couldn't be entirely sure. What she was sure of was that she didn't have an easy out in this situation and either she'd have to try again after being released or she'd have to accept that there was no getting to her mother that way.
Dylan pointed out the obvious and she shook her head back and forth to clear it so that maybe she could find some better way to tell him that he wasn't needed anymore. "And you were supposed to leave me alone. Are we done pointing out what everyone already knows?" Her heart rate was still spiked from the level of stress that she was put under from him being there and her still being there.
After a moment, she looked back at him, her eyebrows pulled together, "What were you doing there anyway?"
Isn't she a dream come true?
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962 posts
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Authored by
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Apr 3, 2018 12:58:36 GMT
307 Words
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imma say all the words inside my head
Don't you tell me what you think that I could be
Dylan didn't even know how to answer her question despite it being an easy one. But whatever response he was thinking of could be misconstrued as a cheap ploy to soften her up. Even though that was exactly what he wanted to do. Her being this hardass was not going to help him get back into her life.
She was hating on the wrong thing but there was still hatred in her. It also didn't change the fact that she had told him to leave and he didn't listen to her. But he couldn't leave her. Not again. He was finally in his sister's good graces because he hadn't left her best friend's side. And if he left, he would be confirming all the doubts Adrian had about them since day one.
Not to mention, this attempt could be repeated.
But then he remembered what Amelia had wanted him to do for her after her death. He had forgotten when he was in the house earlier looking for Adrian. Even when he was in Amelia's room, it slipped his mind that there was a bunch of letters in Amelia's closet addressed to Adrian to be given to her every 15th of every odd month of the year. There was another stack for him to be opened every even month of the year. The last time he saw it, it looked to be four boxes full. That was two weeks before she died. She had told him she still had a few more to write. She had given him a list of where to put which letter each month.
"I left something there. I wanted it back." He finally responded. The way he phrased it was made to carry a double meaning but he didn't know if Adrian would actually get that he was also talking about her.
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Apr 5, 2018 1:33:12 GMT
252 Words
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All The Boys
She came here to entertain you
The response he gave was confusing initially, probably due to the grogginess of her brain that came with the attempt. But once the meaning became clear, she didn't know what to make of it. He'd stayed there long enough that he could have very well left something, but she hadn't remembered coming across any of his things. And then it started inkling into her mind the double meaning. Her eyes narrowed and she contemplated whether she wanted to believe that he meant her, too, or if he was honestly just there for something trivial.
Adrian's eyes slid away from his and she focused on her hands. She could tell by her wrists that she was much skinnier than she'd started out in California. She took a deep breath and shook her head, "You could have called. You could have texted. You didn't have to come in. Why did you come in?" Her eyes lifted back to his and by this point she felt desperate. Adrian wanted to believe that he was there for her, but that would mean that she had someone else that was effected by her death and she didn't want to feel guilty for being selfish. Didn't she have a right to be selfish for once?
"You didn't have to come in...you didn't have to..." She trailed off and let out a weak sigh.
Isn't she a dream come true?
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Apr 5, 2018 3:03:21 GMT
197 Words
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imma say all the words inside my head
Don't you tell me what you think that I could be
When she responded, Dylan's reaction was one of relief. It may be presumptuous of him to think that she had softened but from where he stood, she was no longer filled with anger. There was just despair behind those beautiful brown eyes. His defensive stance faltered and he leaned back in the chair as she spoke.
"I couldn't risk you not picking up or answering." He answered simply.
The image of her in the bathtub flickered through his mind and in all honesty, he wished he didn't. Someone else could have brought her to the hospital and he wouldn't have that image stuck in his head anymore. But he was just glad that Adrian was talking to him at all.
He rubbed at his eyes and put his head in his hand, looking over to Adrian. What he wanted to ask her gave him pause. It was too soon. She didn't need a reprimanding after what she had tried to do. But she had just tried to kill herself. What if this won't be the first time? What if he didn't find her on time if she decided to do it again?
"Why didn't you call me?"
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Apr 5, 2018 3:16:48 GMT
223 Words
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All The Boys
She came here to entertain you
She supposed that his reasoning made sense. She would have ignored his call and she wouldn't have been happy had she seen that he called. Her mindset at the time had been so cloudy and deranged that she couldn't justify anything that she did. She knew it was wrong to push him away, she knew it was wrong to try and take her own life, but that didn't make her care any more after her mother died. It only made her care less.
When he turned to look at her, she looked back at him and she could feel tears starting to burn in her eyes. She could tell that what she'd done was terrible for him. It was written all over his face that finding her that way had done something to him that she hadn't expected. Adrianna honestly didn't expect anyone to find her. Or rather she hadn't thought it would be anyone she knew. Let alone Dylan.
The tears in her eyes started sliding down her face and she shook her head, "What would I have said? That I wanted to die? That I feel like I already have? I didn't want you to stop me."
Isn't she a dream come true?
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Apr 5, 2018 3:33:38 GMT
147 Words
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imma say all the words inside my head
Don't you tell me what you think that I could be
Seeing Adrian start to cry filled Dylan with guilt and concern, among other emotions. And her response broke his heart. It wasn't fair that she had to feel so alone. That she felt that the only way for to solve all this was to end her own life. Rather than deal with the fact that her mother was gone.
He had been lucky that he was far too young to have thought to do anything to himself when his mother passed and he still had family to fall back on. It all just didn't feel right at all. She deserved better.
"I'm so sorry that that was the only solution you could come up with. I want to do more for you but if you don't want it...I'm just...so sorry,"
Dylan placed one hand on the bed, close to hers. "You deserve so much better."
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Apr 5, 2018 3:50:29 GMT
283 Words
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All The Boys
She came here to entertain you
Adrian couldn't understand why he wanted to do anything for her. She'd made it so hard on him. He'd done everything for her the last few months and she couldn't even muster up a thank you. His reward had been finding her trying to drown herself. How could she deserve better when she'd put him through Hell? It didn't make any sense why he still stuck by her side when she tried everything to make him go.
Of course it was all she wanted. She'd practically begged for someone not to leave her and he hadn't, but she was still actively testing him. The lack of trust she held for people had a lot to do with it, but even after a while, she should have been able to let it go.
She stared at his hand, just a few fingertips away from her own. There was a part of her that wanted to retract and scream at him again, but the other side won out. Her fingers walked across the sheet and she wrapped them around his as tightly as she could muster. "But I don't. Don't you get it? I don't deserve better because I'm not right up here," She pointed to her head with her free hand. "I can't make you happy, you know? I'm too messed up." And she knew that he wasn't talking about himself, she knew that he had meant her situation. But she felt like she had to say it. If anyone deserved better between the two of them, it was him.
Isn't she a dream come true?
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Apr 5, 2018 4:06:20 GMT
127 Words
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imma say all the words inside my head
Don't you tell me what you think that I could be
As soon as her hands were on his, Dylan moved close and pulled their joined hands to his lips. He could feel how tight she was holding on to him and he closed his eyes, reveling in the contact. As she spoke, he shook his head and gave a small harsh bark of laughter. "Because I'm definitely right up there."
He looked up at her, keeping their hands close to him.
"I'm not asking you to make me happy, Adrian. I just want you to be. And I know that feels impossible right now and I can't promise you that it's going to be easy. I'm not even asking you not to grieve but you have to know this isn't what your mom would want for you."
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Apr 5, 2018 4:16:29 GMT
232 Words
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All The Boys
She came here to entertain you
Adrian's monitor reacted when his lips touched her hand and had she been in a better mindset, she might have laughed or groaned. Even with everything that happened, her body reacted to him just the same. Her heartbeat always fluttered a little faster when he touched her, despite how much she wished it wouldn't. Still, she allowed herself to take what comfort she could from the warmth of his breath against her skin. She would have missed him a lot if she died. It almost made her sick to her stomach thinking about never seeing him again.
Her lower lip trembled and she bit down on it to try and stop it. "But I don't want to keep you from being happy. I don't know if I ever will be and I don't want to bring you down with me." She already felt like she had. He'd been stuck with her for months trying to get back into the good graces of his sister. She didn't want to jeopardize that, but she couldn't let him stay with her. Neither of them would be happy then. And he'd resent her for it.
"And she doesn't get to make that choice. She left me, so she doesn't get a say."
Isn't she a dream come true?
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Apr 5, 2018 4:27:29 GMT
177 Words
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imma say all the words inside my head
Don't you tell me what you think that I could be
He sighed and pressed his forehead against their hands, tired of arguing with her. Knowing Adrian, she had an arsenal of excuses and justifications lined up just to shoot him down with every turn. So he stopped trying to convince her. He didn't want to leave, not just because it would prove her point, but because he didn't want to think of his life without her in it. It sounded horribly cliche and a bit too much of something he had been avoiding his entire life but it was the truth. She'd become a permanent fixture in his life and leaving that was going to do a number on him.
"You need rest, Aid." He whispered.
Dylan didn't want to talk to her while she's in this state. Maybe a bit of rest would change some perspectives. It was a bit of a reach but he couldn't lose hope. He already did that once and it screwed him up. It screwed him out of a family. He wasn't going to let her go on that path too.
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Apr 5, 2018 4:37:48 GMT
194 Words
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All The Boys
She came here to entertain you
Adrian frowned, even as considerably as she'd softened, she still didn't like being told that she needed rest as if that would be the fix to her mental state. When she closed her eyes, she could almost feel the water rushing into her lungs again. She could see everything that she wanted, just out of her reach. Rest was the last thing that she wanted because she knew that when she woke up it wasn't going to feel any better and it wasn't going to be any easier.
Arguing with him was pointless though. She knew he wasn't going to just let her stay up for the rest of her life. And she knew that he wanted her to change her mind. He was hoping that with some rest, clarity would follow.
Adrian let out a small sigh, her fingers tightening a little more around his and she sucked in her lower lip before she spoke, "Will you lay with me? I...I don't know if I can sleep again."
Isn't she a dream come true?
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