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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Jan 3, 2019 5:15:33 GMT
525 Words
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The Monster
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
Over the past couple of months, things hadn’t been as different as he initially expected. The pregnancy was still early enough that Cassidy wasn’t showing. The only signs that she even was pregnant came from her cravings which had only just begun and the spike in hormones which was almost too much for him to bear. It was hard enough dealing with a hormonal teenage sister regularly, now it felt like he was dealing with two.
Not that he ever mentioned that bit to Cassidy. In fact, he hardly ever admitted to much around her anymore for fear of getting his head torn off or induce uncontrollable sobbing. It was a miracle he hadn’t convinced her to leave him given that his normal tactless tendencies hadn’t dwindled in the slightest even with the last two months.
Being in school was a relief, it gave him freedom to get out from the responsibilities he hadn’t been prepared for and dive into those he had. However, with his time at school and the freedom he gained from it, also came the freedom of his thoughts wandering to darker subject matter. He was less than six months out from his birthday and with each birthday that passed, he grew more apprehensive. This birthday would signify that his ending was coming far sooner than he was willing to admit. The very thought that he was going to miss his own child’s birth was enough to make bile rise in his throat.
He still hadn’t bothered to tell anyone and he couldn’t imagine their reactions if he did. At this rate, he was content with making it seem like some freak incident that no one could have expected. It was all he could think to do at this point. In his time away from the apartment and away from the eyes of his family, he’d already met with an attorney to get everything sorted. His will included their child, despite it still being early in the pregnancy and what remained of his trust fund was to go directly to Cassidy. He even went so far as setting up a trust fund for their child. He couldn’t find it in himself to wait any longer for fear of his timeline being shortened by any stretch.
On his way home from said attorney’s office, he felt drained on all fronts. Mentally he still couldn’t piece together any miracle where he got to live longer than his allotted time. Emotionally, he had already started shutting down, only giving himself enough to work with when he had to put on a convincing smile. He had to wonder if Cassidy had caught on yet. And physically, he felt as though he was withering away, despite being in perfect health. The beast was tired, he had noticed the way it aged and therefore made himself feel aged. He was only twenty-five, a quarter of the way through a normal life, and yet his quarter-life crisis was that he wouldn’t make it to the mid-life crisis.
Opening the door to his apartment, he shut it behind him and kicked off his shoes. Upon tossing the keys on the counter, he looked around for his pregnant love. “Angel? I’m home.”
I've turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Jan 3, 2019 6:03:55 GMT
400 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
The pregnancy so far had been a dick. Cassidy couldn't even appreciate the fact that she was growing another human person in her, let alone love it the way a mother should. In addition to the aches and pains in places she didn't even know could feel pain, her emotions were all over the place. She could be laughing at a stupid video one minute and want to smash someone's brain in the very next. Unfortunately Will was the only one around her at the time that she could vent her anger out on, which was so completely unfair. Which would lead her to always get scared that he would actually leave her.
It was an emotional rollercoaster and she wasn't even showing yet.
It unnerved her a little that Will was being uncannily patient with her. She knew love made people do some crazy shit but it was eerie coming from Will.
She didn't have class today so she tried not to let her time alone get filled with her wallowing in her anxiety so she began to clean Will's apartment from top to bottom. She was in the middle of cleaning out the oven when she heard Will's voice. She hit the back of her head against the top of the oven and she cursed softly before poking her head out and waved the dirty cloth in his direction. "Hiyuh. How was school?" She asked, approaching him and giving him a warm kiss on his lips. She nuzzled his jaw before turning to get back to her cleaning.
but still all we do is fear
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Jan 3, 2019 6:18:17 GMT
525 Words
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The Monster
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
Once he saw Cassidy wave the rag that she had in her hand, he took a moment to glance around at his apartment. If she hadn’t drawn attention to it, he might not have been able to appreciate that she was cleaning his apartment. Not because it didn’t look like she’d been cleaning, but rather because his brain was slow on the uptake, numb to everything around him except her.
She approached him, and his lips tugged up at the sides in the smile that he had made sure could be convincing. Will was relieved to see her, honestly it was all he could feel, so the smile didn’t need to be forced. And yet, he still couldn’t get over the feeling that he was lying to her by doing so. His hand reached up to hold her face there for a moment as she kissed him and as he let out his breath, his shoulders eased and relaxed.
Cassidy made to go back to cleaning, but Will wrapped his arms around her faster than she could get out of his reach. He pulled her against him, his hands resting lightly over her stomach and he pressed his face into her neck, “Where do you think you’re going so fast?”
If he were being honest with himself, he would say he didn’t deserve to soak up all of the love and affection she was willing to give him, and yet he did it anyway. After the conversations he’d had with the attorney, he craved her touch more than usual. Will just wanted to hold onto her for as long as he could. “Did you get bored today? The apartment looks nice, but you should be careful with being around chemicals,” not that he really knew what he was talking about when it came to pregnancy.
I've turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger
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962 posts
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0 likes
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Jan 3, 2019 7:01:59 GMT
400 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
She squeaked slightly when Will pulled her back, giggling when she felt his lips on her neck. Her free hand slid up around the back of his neck to keep him there as she leaned into his chest, enjoying his closeness. He smelled weird but she didn't mind.
When he asked about her day, mentioning the chemicals, she laughed and shrugged. "Didn't really use much. Just soap and water. Besides, that's what masks are for." She pointed a finger to the face mask on the kitchen counter. "The house smelled of...stale peaches so I had to clean." It wasn't an entire lie, but he didn't need to know her anxieties.
"I made pasta. It's the only thing I can stomach these days. Or do you wanna order in?" She looked up at him with a smile.
but still all we do is fear
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Jan 3, 2019 7:11:41 GMT
525 Words
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The Monster
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
Will’s fingers moved over her stomach, his eyes cast down looking at them. He hoped that he at least got to feel it kick before he croaked. It was only fair right? If he believed in a higher being, he might have asked the question out loud or perhaps even yelled and let a string of swears sore up to the sky. Except he stopped believing in anything at a much younger age. Perhaps the very moment he found out that his life would be short-lived was when he realized that there was no one looking out for him.
He noticed his hands tensed and he relaxed them again as she spoke and touched his neck. The sound of her giggle made him smile again and he pressed another kiss to the side of her neck, “Sometimes I forget that you’re much smarter than I am. Of course you thought about that already.” It was an absent comment, however, his words rang true. If he’d had to worry about it, he might not have thought of using a mask. However, his mind was not all that it used to be and he wondered if he could blame that on his deteriorating state.
“I’m good with whatever you made. I probably won’t eat much anyway, haven’t been feeling too well today,” a drastic understatement. Will didn’t want to complain to her about feeling ill what with a baby growing inside of her and all.
Will brushed his fingers through her hair and pecked her cheek, “You make me feel like an inadequate boyfriend being all pregnant and productive. Shouldn’t I be the one taking care of you?”
I've turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger
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962 posts
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0 likes
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Jan 3, 2019 7:38:45 GMT
400 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
Shivering from the fingers over her stomach, Cassidy placed her hand over his. The urge to burst out crying was overwhelming but she tried hard to keep the tears at bay. It was just such a small gesture but it felt so intimate to her and that was what made her so emotional. Little things became intimate because of context. Will was trying to be close to her and their unborn baby and touching her stomach was the only way he could do both.
It helped that Will was unwittingly quick on his feet and she laughed at his statement, elbowing him gently in the ribs before turning in his arms to look up at him. Just as she did so, his refusal to eat made a look of sympathy cross her features. She was quick to wash it away as she threw the cloth over her shoulder before cupping his cheeks with both hands. She wanted so badly to ask him what exactly his sickness was that made him so weak but she knew it would just result in some sort of quarrel.
She desperately needed him here with her. She couldn't risk getting mad at him and vice versa. "Okay."
Leaning into the kiss on the cheek, her arms snaked around his waist and she shook her head. "There's no supposed to. We take care of each other. Fuck gender roles. Our baby is not going to grow up in that toxicity."
but still all we do is fear
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Jan 3, 2019 7:53:44 GMT
525 Words
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The Monster
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
With her hands cupping his face, he was certain she was going to dig and despite its usual laziness, the beast was tensed as much as he was. He knew she’d be able to feel it in the way his jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing slightly. Had he been feeling feisty, he might’ve said something to goad her into asking him something that would likely set him off.
But Will was tired of fighting. He’d been fighting for thirteen years because he knew it would be all he had and he didn’t care what happened to him then. But now, with the day approaching, he did care. Fighting meant time apart and he didn’t have the time to spare anymore.
When she didn’t push him on it, he visibly relaxed and shook off his tension. Being so pent up did nothing to make him feel better. Her arms wrapped around his waist and he wrapped his around her shoulders, glancing down at her as she responded to his words. His eyebrow arched and he couldn’t keep from smirking.
Will kissed her forehead and nodded, “Of course, love. I simply meant that you’re the one going through all of these drastic things, and I’ve barely done a thing. Just seems as though I’m not pulling my weight, that’s all.”
I've turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Jan 3, 2019 8:26:18 GMT
400 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
Melting into the forehead kiss, Cassidy sighed happily, wondering why she spent so much time hating on him. She could have had more of this when she really needd it back then. But she knew there was no use wallowing in the past. He was her present and she needed to be there with him.
"You loving me is pulling your weight enough, Will." She responded, leaning in so she could give him a kiss on his collarbone. "I just need you to be here. I'm easy, sugar." She teased.
but still all we do is fear
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Jan 3, 2019 8:32:50 GMT
525 Words
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The Monster
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
Cassidy’s choice of words made him laugh, genuinely, although he wasn’t sure where it could have come from. He didn’t think he had enough in him to laugh, but that was the beauty of her. She made him feel things that he never expected. He surely hadn’t expected to fall in love, nor to be so content with the life he was living currently. If it weren’t for the clock looming over his head, he may have actually been ecstatic about his life.
He did have to wonder, however, what their life would have been like if he was never living on borrowed time. Would she have even liked him then? Surely she had to appreciate the angst that came with being terminal.
Will waggled his eyebrows at her and leaned down so that he could capture her mouth, “We both know just how easy you are, Angel.” He grinned against her lips, his hands slid down her waist to squeeze her butt and he laughed again.
It was moments like this that he hoped that she held onto once he was gone.
I've turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger
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962 posts
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0 likes
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Feb 9, 2019 16:01:52 GMT
400 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
Will didn't laugh often so when he did, Cassidy did cherish it. She appreciated these little moments so much that she often wished there was a way to replay memories. If she were being completely honest with herself, she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, despite being genuinely happy at the moment. It had nothing to do with Will, really. She was just waiting for life to kick her in the ass as it so often did.
His next move in reaction to her tease made her squeak, her hand gripping the front of his shirt as she laughed at the sensation of being pinched in the butt. "I will not be shamed for liking sex now that I've had it." She scrunched her nose in mock defiance in Will's direction before pulling both his arms around her waist, making him squeeze her tight.
She gave him one more kiss before sliding out of his embrace to get him his food. As she spooned some pasta on to a deep plate, she hummed the lullaby her mother used to sing for her before she was reminded of something.
"Didn't you have an appointment today? Or did I mix the days?"
but still all we do is fear
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Jun 10, 2019 2:00:53 GMT
525 Words
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The Monster
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
Will was reluctant to let her slip through his fingers, but he relented, as he didn’t have much strength to hold her back. His eyes followed her around the kitchen, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he watched her. The sound of her humming did things to his heart and he desperately begged for his body to stop aging at an accelerated rate so that he could just have a little more time. A year, six months...just more.
His jaw clenched in response to her question and he could feel his stomach heaving as if he would be sick. Swallowing back the bile in his throat for the umpteenth time, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and did what he could to shake off the worry of the truth bubbling up to the surface instead of his lies.
Shrugging his shoulders, he tried to play it off instead, “I did, it was a brief one though. Didn’t take long.” He supposed it would have taken less time if he would have stuck to his initial plan of staying away from people altogether. The list of those he had to include in his will had grown exponentially and he was both happy and sad about it. “You know, the smell of the food is starting to get to me. Think I might be a bit hungrier than I thought.” Lie. Anything to shift the topic though.
I've turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Sept 5, 2019 23:58:13 GMT
172 Words
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
Cassidy knew avoidance. She was an expert. And she was born into a family of expert avoiders. So hearing it coming from Will hurt doubly so. Still, she kept calm. She didn't want to fight. She was so tired of fighting with the one man who made her feel loved.
Instead, she concentrated on scooping enough food that it wasn't obvious that she knew he was lying. She took a bigger portion for herself and brought the dishes over to the kitchen counter. "I made it extra spicy today because apparently this one likes spicy." She gestured to her stomach with a finger before lifting herself up on to the stool.
"I'm having dinner with Gabe and Bailey tonight. They're flying in." She mentioned as casually as possible. Things were still a little sore between Will and the couple but Bailey and Cassidy had been subtly smooth talking their boyfriends into settling down enough to be civil. But a get together was still not in the cards. And it needed to be.
but still all we do is fear
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Sept 15, 2019 6:30:36 GMT
525 Words
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The Monster
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
His eyes remained trained on her while she scooped the heap of food onto her plate. It amused him that she had picked up such an appetite, and though he would never say that she ate a lot to her face, well...she did. She'd blown up like a balloon, but every bit of her was as beautiful as it had been before. Maybe more so now that she was carrying his baby. God he couldn't even think about what it was going to be like for her when she had to explain what happened to their baby after he was gone. The little nugget wouldn't even know how much he already loved it.
"My mother was the same way when she was pregnant with the twins. Added hot sauce to literally everything she ate," Will shook his head and grinned at the memory. It had been a fond one, even if it was long before everything fell apart for their family. He'd been trying to pin down all of the different memories that he had of the twins before being pulled away from them, even if they were still in the womb. It was all part of his memory bank, the things that were keeping him going for as long as he could manage. Even if it only extended his lifespan by a week, it was a week longer than he'd expected to have.
Settling next to her, a hand brushing against her back lightly, he tried to ignore the nauseous feeling in his stomach as the smell of food hit him. It didn't do much better at the casual mentioning of his 'ex' best friend and former favorite Brit. Things were rough, not just one-sided either. Gabe was angry at Will for the things that he'd said and though he was trying to make up for into some degree, he'd meant what he said at the time. Gabe had to know that Will adored Bailey and that his harsh words directed at her had only come from a place of feeling cornered. More so, Gabe had to know that he was the only reason that Will had made it this far to begin with.
Will swallowed and stared down at the plate of food, "Well I hope you three have a good time. I could stand to catch up on a few assignments." Because there was no way he was going to be the one to break first. It was better for Gabe to be one less casualty anyway.
I've turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Sept 15, 2019 8:57:56 GMT
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With my feelings on fire
Guess I'm a bad liar
Talk of his mother had Cassidy smiling, even though she knew it had to be painful for Will to share but she had asked him to be more open and vulnerable with her. He was doing his part. She appreciated it. Even if it was more self-serving than anything, he was still sharing.
"Maybe it's just Spencer genetics." She chuckled, rubbing her growing belly affectionately before scooping some pasta into her mouth.
She shivered slightly at the hand down her back and her smile widened. Every touch of his served to make her feel warm and unfortunately incredibly horny. But she had to keep to herself on that front. Having sex while pregnant was not sexy.
When Will mentioned catching up on his assignments, apparently it was the last straw for the pregnant woman as she slammed her spoon down on the counter. She took a deep breath to try to calm herself down. "When Will? When is this stupid fight going to end hmm?" She turned to face him, tears were in her eyes. Stupid hormones. Couldn't even go a day without crying over something.
"Are you really going to stop talking to Gabe? Completely cut him out of your life?"
but still all we do is fear
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Sept 15, 2019 21:32:56 GMT
525 Words
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The Monster
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
The way that things turned so quickly nearly gave him whiplash. He should have expected it to trigger a negative emotion in Cassidy, she was already under so much stress as it was with everything. It wasn't that he wanted to make it worse for her, he just couldn't get over his own stupid pride. Gabriel had every right to be angry with Will for what he did, and sure maybe Will should have been the bigger person. But when was he ever? No, it was just easier to disengage himself without having to worry about breaking his best friend's heart, too.
He took a bite of his food, the taste of it sending a sharp pain to his stomach that made him want to hurl, but he chewed slowly and managed to swallow without his gag reflex forcing it back. Will wasn't ignoring her, but he wasn't sure what he had to say was what she'd want to hear. And upsetting her further wasn't good for the baby. He turned to her, any sense of anger of his own stripped away with his energy and he took her hands in his carefully. They were so small in comparison and warm where his were freezing. Yet they somehow fit so perfectly in his and he'd always loved marveling at their differences.
Giving her hands a light squeeze of reassurance, he took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I don't know when the fight is going to end, Cassidy. It's not usually this bad and I know you want to force me to get through it with him, but maybe it's just for the best that we stay apart for a while. There are...unresolved issues it would seem and I don't want to fight with him in front of you and Bai. It's not good for you to be worked up and I was rude enough to Bailey as it was." He leaned his forehead against hers, one hand reaching up to cup her cheek, "Please. I just...I can't do it tonight. I'm beat and I don't have it in me to keep fighting about the same thing."
I've turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger
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