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Post by Eos * on May 2, 2017 8:09:31 GMT
{ } She felt all too aware of the blonde drawing closer. It was so familiar and painful at the same time. She wondered if her resolution could even hold at this rate. Reaching out, claiming what had once been so close was too easy. She, who was usually the forward one. The one who always had an answer, an action or a remark ready was now faltering under the gaze of the statuesque blonde.
She found herself jerking back. Not too far, but far enough for the close proximity not to feel like such a threat to her entire being. "You should go," was all she said, her voice wavering.
It was unfair; for someone so afraid of giving her heart away, she'd given it so easily. Without a thought, she'd found herself enraptured by the blonde. She wished she'd been stronger back then. She wished she hadn't let her heart wander so far. She'd allowed herself to hope. She'd allowed herself to wish.
"I was a flight risk with the fear of falling. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts." ulla |
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Post by Eddie * on May 2, 2017 8:13:09 GMT
i'll keep you safe if you keep me strong Just as she had claimed it, Callie felt the way the distance was formed again. Warmth felt suddenly cool, and now she had the doorway to herself. It felt strange, to be there alone.
It wasn't as if she was so new to the concept of chasing someone. She'd gotten pretty good at it. Still, she found herself waiting in the space all the same, like waiting to be called. Or waiting to lose her nerve. Either way could have happened so easily. This could have been broken with a proper step back. Her feet could carry her, surely.
She let go of the door and drew forward a step, fingertips slow to let the frame at the other side slip through them. It was magnetic, and she'd never been the best at fighting that.
"Why? You can't just say that to me and then turn around and tell me to go." She reasoned. She didn't like even trying to argue with her. She was no match, and they both knew that. Rather, her tone had opted for something of a pleading effect. It was the only thing that really worked. |
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Post by Eos * on May 2, 2017 8:18:22 GMT
{ } For someone who had always played the role of being strong, Penelope had never felt quite as weak before. Her head told her to turn away and leave, yet it didn't quite seem like her heart agreed. It was unfair, really. That after all this time, she was no better than what she had been back then.
Still, she supposed she couldn't really blame the blonde for trying. Penelope could easily make an excuse, claiming that she didn't know any better, but Callie was a lot more than what people gave her credit for. Hadn't Penelope given her mixed signals, she would never have stepped forward. She would never have seized the moment Penelope had so easily offered her.
"I can, and I did," was all she had left to say. It was the last ounce of resolution she had left in her. Even as her voice quaked, she somehow managed to keep her expression passive. Only her eyes couldn't quite meet the stare of the blonde. "I was a flight risk with the fear of falling. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts." ulla |
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Post by Eddie * on May 2, 2017 8:34:25 GMT
i'll keep you safe if you keep me strong The difference was suddenly uncanny. For someone so previously intent on being the strong one, it was like watching a wall fall to pieces before her bright blue eyes. Very quickly, and purely by that response, she felt bad for encroaching as she had.
Callie felt her own breathing grow shallow, like there wasn't enough to fill her lungs completely anymore. This was dangerous, honestly, but it seemed as if the thought had left her mind completely. Because she still stood there, like she really did want to be burned by a lack of distance. Like she welcomed it. Like she asked for it.
Compassion filled her eyes instead, because she really did feel for the person who stood before her. She knew she had been a destructive force in this instance. She knew she was the only person at fault, here.
"I'll do whatever you want." Callie admitted then, the words surprising even herself at that point. |
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Post by Eos * on May 2, 2017 10:05:44 GMT
{ } Dark eyes grew suspicious at the words offered. Brows furrowed in turn and all Penelope could do was stare. She was briefly tempted to laugh, because although those were the words she'd longed for so long to hear, she couldn't quite help but feel that they'd come a little too late.
Inhaling and using the brief pause as a means to collect her thoughts, Penelope nodded slowly. Not in agreement, but rather in understanding.
She was the one pleading now.
"Why?" she asked, but didn't stop. "Did he leave, is that it?" She couldn't help it, but it was a fair question. Hadn't he ultimately been what had stopped her before? "I was a flight risk with the fear of falling. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts." ulla |
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Post by Eddie * on May 2, 2017 10:14:28 GMT
i'll keep you safe if you keep me strong There was a brief moment when Callie genuinely thought she'd be told to leave again. She wasn't wrong, after all. She should have left. It would have been a lot easier if she hadn't turned up at all, wouldn't it? Honestly, Callie wasn't so sure. She shouldn't have agreed to even try.
Her hands collided behind her back again, if only to keep them busy. She did take a step backwards. This time, it was her turn to lean in the doorway.
"He's gone. He hasn't been around for a long, long time." Callie admitted, easily. At least, it was the easiest part of that story to admit. When it came to the rest of it, she just didn't know how to break it to her. |
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Post by Eos * on May 2, 2017 10:28:00 GMT
{ } Penelope nodded at the words; it wasn't what she'd expected, but then again, those things seemed to be natural as teenagers progressed into adulthood. She was a little surprised to find herself sad at the thought that Callie had been left. Part of her really thought she'd cared for him, but that same part also poked at her ego which made this entire situation sting even more.
"Why?" she asked again. Perhaps she had no right to ask. Perhaps it was absolutely none of her business, but she was going to demand an answer regardless. Callie owed her that much. "I was a flight risk with the fear of falling. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts." ulla |
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Post by Eddie * on May 2, 2017 10:33:08 GMT
i'll keep you safe if you keep me strong Of course Callie should have known she'd be questions. If she were anything like her counterpart, she would have fought against the request. There could have been a lot of things she could have pulled from a clever arsenal to dismantle this. But she didn't. Again, they agreed; Callie really did owe her this much.
Her tongue crossed the line of her lips instinctively, like she was truly willing such difficult words to flow. To think Penelope already expected that she couldn't change? This was hardly going to make that any better. She glanced to the floor instead, still feeling rattled from the lack of oxygen in her lungs.
"You left." She started, glancing up briefly, but she didn't search for her eyes. It was just a little look in a spare second, and then it was gone again. "He didn't, so I stayed, and it was... Good. Okay." It wasn't bad. She couldn't discredit him like that. "And then I-" Even now, those particular words caught in her throat. Raising a hand, she ran it through her hair, coursing it to one side.
"There was this girl..." |
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Post by Eos * on May 2, 2017 10:38:56 GMT
{ } She didn't need to say more. In truth, Penelope had expected it. If not that, then something similar. A harsh chuckle fell from the brunette's lips as she shook her head. "Wow," she breathed as the chuckle stifled down. A hand came up to brush her hair back, fingers combing through dark locks.
"You know, I'd like to say that I'm surprised, but I'm really not." There was no harshness left in her words. Instead, there was humor.
"God, Callie," she continued, turning as she started to walk a few steps away. "Really? I mean, come on!" And here the blonde was, expecting what? Compassion? Yeah, well, she wasn't getting it. "I was a flight risk with the fear of falling. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts." ulla |
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Post by Eddie * on May 2, 2017 10:43:52 GMT
i'll keep you safe if you keep me strong Callie expected her to be mad. Of course, this was the very thing that splintered their entire existence. Perhaps Penelope had been incredibly smart to get away from her when she had. Perhaps, then, she shouldn't have come here in the first place. Now she understood the concept better than she had only moments ago.
But she didn't look embarrassed. She had never been ashamed of her own actions; not years ago, and certainly not now. She might have felt remorse for upsetting him, and her, but that didn't make her regret her own choices. She raised her head high again, and this time she kept her eyes steadily focused on the person who was literally laughing at her and keeping her distance.
"What?" Callie asked her lightly; curiously. She hoped once the initial response died down there would be something in the depths of that humour. |
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Post by Eos * on May 2, 2017 10:50:26 GMT
{ } Penelope then realized that what was the most infuriating wasn't how she felt she'd been treated, but that Callie didn't seem to get it. She probably felt bad about the way her actions hurt others, sure, but she kept making the same choice over and over again and put herself in these situations without considering the other part.
But there was another thing the brunette realized too; there was no future here. There was no goal, no point and no greater plan at work. This, for all its purpose, was simply how Callie worked. She wore her heart on her sleeve and Penelope had once loved that about her. She'd once loved how the blonde walked through life without a single care, shining like beacon of light upon whoever was lucky enough to grace her presence.
"I'm done, Callie," she finally said. "I don't want to do this anymore." She turned to properly face her then, arms spread out in defeat. "You have to be you and that's fine, but I don't want any part in it." It was a lie, of course. At least, partly so. Penelope couldn't simply toss her feelings away so easily when they'd had years to manifest, grow and fester, but could she really keep doing this to herself? "I was a flight risk with the fear of falling. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts." ulla |
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Post by Eddie * on May 2, 2017 11:03:23 GMT
i'll keep you safe if you keep me strong An explanation wasn't something Callie really expected. She didn't exactly need to be told why Penelope thought the downfall of her relationship was so funny. She could have pieced it together on her own, and in the end, it was clear that she had to run with her own thoughts. It wasn't as if she really deserved much better. But those words seemed to shock her in some way.
Though she said she was done, Callie didn't seem convinced. She might have seemed a little panicked, but then then boiled down to disbelief.
"What do you mean, you're done? You're apparently not looking for anything serious. It's not about whether you love me or not; I can tell you I still love you and you don't care. You're not here for me." She shrugged her shoulders, breaking away from the doorway and taking a step towards her; "According to you, there's nothing to be done with." |
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Post by Eos * on May 2, 2017 11:08:07 GMT
{ } And there it was; broken down into the simplest of things and it made the brunette wonder about something very important; Had Callie never thought she'd been after something more serious?
A hand came up to pinch the bridge of her nose then. She chose to ignore the expression the blonde carried. There was two ways Penelope could choose to take this; she, could for the first time, allow herself to be vulnerable and as such, tell her the truth. Or, she could draw the final straw and let it all end right there.
"You're right," she opted for instead. "I'm not here for you, but don't you fucking dare tell me I never wanted anything serious with you." It took all her strength not to point an accusing finger straight at the girl before her. "That's the most insulting thing you could ever say about yourself, about me." "I was a flight risk with the fear of falling. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts." ulla |
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Post by Eddie * on May 2, 2017 11:16:58 GMT
i'll keep you safe if you keep me strong Immediately, Callie saw the way things changed. There seemed to be a very fast fire forming in the mind of the person across from her. There went that weakened individual who couldn't properly speak at the sight of her. Now, she was mad about something. Evidently, it was something big. It sounded heartbreaking.
Callie pressed her hands against her own face instinctively, running the length of her own expression in the hopes of completely covering it up so it could change. It didn't work as her hands dropped. It never worked. "Oh my God, that's not what I'm saying!" She shot back finally; "I never thought that about you, you know that!" She stopped herself long enough to take a short, useless breath, but it didn't help her find clarity at all.
"But you're standing here telling me I'm not the only one? Are you kidding? What do you want me to think?" |
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Post by Eos * on May 2, 2017 11:31:32 GMT
{ } "After," she pressed, but stopped herself with a shake of her head. It didn't really matter anymore, did it? It had been different, because she hadn't found someone else until after, but then again, hadn't she helped Callie do the very thing she was accusing her of now? Did she truly have any right to confront her with it?
She paused, allowing herself a few breaths to calm down. And then, she lifted her head, chin high. "I wanted you and only you," she said instead. "I left because I was the only one who thought that," she added, gesturing at nothing in particular. "But I didn't come back for that." "I was a flight risk with the fear of falling. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts." ulla |
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