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Post by Trix on Jul 5, 2017 23:10:35 GMT
The dead, but never mourned Treatment. The word had hung in the air for what felt like hours, but was only seconds. There were a few options he'd been given. The commonly known one being chemo, which from what he'd researched, he wanted no part of. The pain, the physical changes to his appearance, he was already noticing that his face looked more and more gaunt with each day that passed. He didn't need to go bald and have people making assumptions, no matter if they were correct or not. So there was another option. Drug therapy, taking different medical cocktails to see if they could slow the process of him dying basically. He'd been studying to become a doctor for little over a year and he knew that the likelihood of survival based on the drugs he was going to be taking was not the best. And yet, for fear of everyone being able to tell, he chose that. Drug dependency was a common thing anymore in society, perhaps it was worth the popularity.
He'd been doing everything he could to maintain his normalcy, but with each doctor's appointment, he found himself struggling for a grasp on what that normalcy actually was. Going to school? Going home. Talking to no one. Feeling nothing. Was that what his life had always been? He lingered on the only time that he'd spent in the last couple of months where he hadn't been completely miserable. And it made his stomach twist into a knot when he remembered how he fucked it up just as quickly by taking off after their altercation. Sure, he could have patched things up with Cassidy if he wanted to. Apologized, told her the truth, perhaps even asked for her help. But Will didn't want help.
With the evening dawning on the campus, Will didn't expect many people to be out. If they were, he was certain they were making their way to some kind of party to celebrate drunken blindness to the horrors of the real world. His cynicism as he watched them seemed to nearly boil over. His hand had been dealt shitty from the moment he was brought into a world where his parents couldn't handle what he was. For it to only get worse while he watched everyone else's get better, it had to be some sick joke. He snorted out a humorless laugh just as he approached the face that he'd just been thinking of. Except there was something much different in her expression this time.
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Post by Nu on Jul 5, 2017 23:21:20 GMT
Cassidy was told to wait in the waiting room while the doctor performed even more tests "just to be sure" and that made Cassidy mad. In all honesty, it wasn't even the emotion she wanted to feel. It was just the easiest.
The emotions she felt were all jumbled up in her mind and heart and just too difficult to sort that she felt like she could burst at any moment. The back of her eyes prickled, a sure sign of the oncoming tears.
She almost didn't hear the snort, almost immediately bringing to mind the last person she wanted to see in her emotional state. Turning around, the sneer she had tried to form fell flat and only made her look even more pathetic. "Of course it's you." She said, almost in a breathless whisper. Her words stuck in her throat as she remembered their last run-in. She wanted so badly to turn and walk away but she didn't want to leave the waiting room in case Elena came out.
It was only then that she wondered what Will was there for. It was too much of a coincidence. Her first thought was that he followed her but she shook that notion out of her head. He wasn't a masochist.
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Post by Trix on Jul 6, 2017 4:20:57 GMT
The dead, but never mourned Will had regretted his attitude towards her to some degree for the past couple of weeks. He'd been volatile, as bad as he could be all due to the fact that he might actually grow attached to someone and he couldn't risk it. Nor could he risk her getting attached to him in any way. Even as a challenge to be cracked, he couldn't afford for her to keep trying, it would only end in one or both of them getting hurt.
And yet as he looked at her, he felt a pang of something that he couldn't place when he noticed her expression was not full of attitude and snark the way she usually tried to play it when she was around him. He knew the moment that she saw him that she should have had something rude to say, just as he should have. But as her efforts were weak, his were weaker. Being tested on, having someone tell you that even on medication your chances of living were slim due to an insurmountable amount of bullshit in his genetics, he was too exhausted to be angst-ridden and nasty towards her. Besides, she looked the way that he felt and he could at least feel for her on that.
But then something clicked in his mind. What if she asked him what he was doing here?
William could feel his heart quicken and he thought up some kind of excuse on the spot, just to be certain he wouldn't be caught hesitating. Which only made him curious as to what she was doing in the waiting room. Friend? Family? Will couldn't entirely feel for her in either instance because he'd never grown attached enough to anyone to worry if they were in the hospital. And yet he worried for her, for some stupid reason he couldn't place. Will suddenly felt very aware of how he looked and he cleared his dry throat, his hand cupping the back of his neck, "Last time I checked, this wasn't your territory." His retort fell flat as well and he shook his head the tiniest bit, "Sorry. Not the place for arguing." He couldn't even muster up any irritation with her anyway, it was all too directed at his predicament.
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Post by Nu on Jul 7, 2017 19:16:01 GMT
The change from snark to an apology was a little jarring for Cassidy but in that moment, she realised he looked much worst than what she was feeling. Was he there for a visit or was he a patient? The question plagued her in the back of her mind as she tried to compose herself.
"It's fine." She said in a soft tone. Pressing her thumb against the corner of her left browbone, she looked at Will again and took a deep breath. "Visiting?" She asked, pointing her other thumb over her shoulder in the general sense of the hospital.
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Post by Trix on Jul 11, 2017 1:06:43 GMT
The dead, but never mourned And the question came, just as he knew it would and he figured it was best to just get it out of the way now. If he told her that he was here for observation, would she believe it? Even with his excuse in place, he hesitated because he knew that she wouldn't buy it. He knew he looked far too worn for it to just be a visit or for classes. And he couldn't afford for her to question him further if she didn't believe him. "Uh no, caught something particularly nasty and figured I might as well get it checked out before it got out of hand." Which would then explain if he missed their Literature class later on down the road.
He turned it quickly back on her, "And you?"
Will wasn't trying to dig into her life by any means. He just didn't want the attention on him for longer than it needed to be. Perhaps if she was focused on her own problems, diving into them would allow her to forget that he looked the way that he did. Of course he didn't expect her to give too much away, not to him. They'd always be on the rocks, of that he was certain because their personalities clashed. Will often wondered if it was because they were too quick to snap. Something about her drove him up the wall though and he could never hold back what he said.
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Post by Nu on Jul 11, 2017 2:33:21 GMT
Something about the way he answered made Cassidy doubt the truth behind his words. The words themselves seemed to hold up all right but it was more the tone of his voice and the way he rushed into asking about why she was there. He was deflecting.
Of course, a big part of her wasn't immediately ready to spill her guts, especially to Will, but quid pro quo.
"Visiting." She nodded. Slipping her hands in her jeans pockets, she looked around Will to the cafeteria and against her better judgment, she turned back to Will and asked, "Do you want to grab a bite?"
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Post by Trix on Jul 11, 2017 16:26:44 GMT
The dead, but never mourned The simple answer held a lot of weight. She was visiting someone in the hospital, and by the discomfort she was putting off, he didn't think it was for just a measly cold or even the flu. It was something serious. And she clearly wasn't interested in giving away more than that. Will could respect that she wasn't looking for anyone's sympathy or pity. It was another reason he kept his illness to himself. If his siblings caught wind or his one and only friend, he could expect a party full of pity. That very idea didn't sit well with him. He'd rather maintain the anger that his siblings had for him and the weariness that he often got from his best friend. The less they knew, the better it was.
Maybe that was the way she was looking at the situation too.
Will had been ready for her to dismiss him after that, but he hadn't been prepared for an invitation to eat with her. It caused him to hesitate. He'd blame all of the drugs he was on later because clearly if he was in his right mind he never would have agreed. But he wasn't, so he did. "Uh, sure," He supposed he should get used to the disgusting hospital food now as he would eventually only be eating that.
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Post by Nu on Jul 13, 2017 19:03:09 GMT
Surprising her even further was his acquiescence. Him being sick somehow dampened his asshole-ishness. She figured if there was ever a time she should be taking advantage of his niceness, it should be now.
She didn't want to be alone while she waited for her cousin, being in the cafeteria offered her a distraction in the form of food while still giving her a clear view of the waiting room should her cousin come out soon.
Choosing a table that directly showed her the waiting room, she brought a chocolate croissant and a bottle of milk, her eyes trained on the waiting room. She distractedly ripped a piece from the croissant and put it in her mouth, missing by an inch before correcting herself, leaving a smear of chocolate at the corner of her mouth.
"So did the doctor give you good antibiotics?" She asked, her eyes finally settling on Will after making sure her cousin wasn't waiting for her.
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Post by Trix on Jul 14, 2017 0:29:48 GMT
The dead, but never mourned Their common ground was likely to be short-lived, and Will knew it. Best to keep quiet now before he let it blow up later. Once he was of his own mind, not drug-riddled and exhausted from all of the poking needles, he'd be certain to discredit her if she ever brought up the way he was acting right now. Who would believe that he was capable of civility? Perhaps his best friend, maybe even his younger brother, but two out of the millions of people in this world were not going to make much of a difference. Will had her there, and he knew he could go back and forth with his treatment of her and still get away with it. She was grasping at any straws of humility within him; compassion...humanity...something. And he wasn't sure she'd ever find it at the rate he was deteriorating.
Will figured he didn't want to be alone necessarily. He'd just been told that he was likely going to die before he could even reach his midlife crisis. The jolt of that kind of news hit somewhere in him that jarred him. Yes, he knew the possibilities of what came with his mutation, but he always sort of thought he might pull through. He thought that for all the pain he'd gone through and caused others, maybe life would tell him to shove it by making him live with the fact that he had no one because he had been too quick to assume his own death. Yet here he was, actually facing that he was going to die with no one, just like he'd planned all along.
The company he was keeping was a stretch, but it was safe for now. Cassidy held no ties to him, he feared nothing when it came to her seeing him this way because she'd kept from prying. Better her company to keep at this moment than his only friend or someone in his family that was trying to have a relationship with a walking corpse. He sat across from her, settling for coffee and an apple, though he wasn't necessarily hungry, so he was certain he'd just be drinking the coffee.
He watched her, the way she was staring ahead into the waiting room beyond him. Maybe it was her boyfriend, and immediately he hated himself for thinking it. What did it matter if it was? Will looked down at his coffee, his hands wrapped around the cup. He noticed that he was freezing. She spoke and he looked back up, "Yeah, I'm sure they've got better back there, but you know, they can't give that away like candy." Even though he felt like he had just gone trick or treating with the prescription drugs he'd been given. When he looked back up at her, he covered his mouth and coughed out a laugh.
"You uh...you missed yer mouth, luv." # | @ | notes ulla |
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Post by Nu on Jul 19, 2017 16:33:45 GMT
Cassidy gave out a small titter of laughter at his attempt at humour before staring at him for awhile when he pointed out her folly.
Her hand immediately started wiping her mouth and whenshe found the cause of his amusement, she gave a little huff and took a piece of tissue to wipe it off. Keeping on the safe side, she started wiping her mouth with the tissue to make sure there was no more chocolate on her face.
She bit into her croissant again, careful this time, before letting out a sigh. Her cousin was taking way too long and she was getting even more nervous.
"Do you have anywhere else to go after this?" She asked, looking at Will, almost imploringly.
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Post by Trix on Jul 24, 2017 1:37:34 GMT
The dead, but never mourned Will's lips twitched in amusement as he watched her seek out the smudge she had created. She seemed a bit embarrassed, but of course only showed the frustration of having done something silly. He continued watching her, remaining quiet. Once he realized he might have been dazed by watching her for as long as he had, he quickly looked down and coughed. Will allowed for her to continue eating without his scrutinizing stare all the while keeping his hands clasped around the cup of coffee in front of him.
She let out a sigh and his eyes snapped up again to look at her. He caught the look he was receiving from her and it confused him.
Will shrugged, "Just going home to work on that enthralling paper we have to do in Lit." He cracked a half a smile before it fell flat. When he let his eyes lock back to hers, he tried to decipher her reaction. It seemed like there were two ways of looking at it. She was either doing her best to get rid of him despite being the one who had asked for him to join, or she was looking for a longer escape. If her family member or friend or...boyfriend was kept for longer than she expected, he wondered what she was going to do. Or if she should be alone.
He looked back down at his coffee, "And you?" He brought the cup to his lips and raised his eyes as he took a drink.
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Post by Nu on Jul 29, 2017 5:17:42 GMT
She was so in her head that she didn't even realise Will was staring. Nor did she notice when he smiled. It was only when she asked him, in such a needy fashion, if he was busy that she realised he was staring.
Just as the moment seeped into the realm of intense did they both look away, her going back to the croissant, eating it without even tasting anymore.
"Here." She answered simply. "I don't want to be alone." She said after a beat. Cassidy hated how desperate her tone was. She was asking someone who didn't want anything to do with her to stay with her while she waited for Elena. It wouldn't even surprise her if he laughed in her face and left right then and there.
"I know I'm asking a lot but could you just stay here for awhile?" Her hazel green eyes lifted to look at Will.
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Post by Trix on Jul 30, 2017 23:29:52 GMT
The dead, but never mourned She answered with what he had expected and it caused him to frown. Staying in a hospital with no idea when you were leaving, just waiting, it was hard to do with someone, and she was going to be alone. Will sighed and after a second she responded to the second question in his head. Was she asking him to stay? Or did she already have someone on their way to stay with her. Will cleared his throat when she looked up at him asking for him to stay.
What was he supposed to say? He'd just told her that he had nothing to do or nowhere to be. School was something he often put off anyway when it was something as easy as Literature. He cleared his throat again and shrugged, "I don't see why not." Best not to make a big fuss over what she was asking. He could always use it against her later anyway. Will took another drink of coffee until it was empty and he set the foam cup down on the table.
He did wonder why she'd ask him of all people. They hated each other and while he was being civil now, how was she to know when the switch would flip? He himself didn't even know when the beast would start to claw him from the inside out. And he especially didn't know when his own self-preservation would kick in. Letting someone get close to him was the wrong idea, and while he knew that and it was in his mind, he was content with sitting across from her and keeping her company for the time being.
"So, not to pry, but isn't your boyfriend or, er, significant other going to be upset with me sitting with you?" He figured it was safe to assume as much that they were the one she was waiting for. Besides, even if he was wrong, it allowed him a chance to know whether she had one or not....Not that he cared for any reason or anything.
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Post by Nu on Jul 30, 2017 23:54:56 GMT
What surprised her was his acqueiscence and it showed on her face. Despite her actual want for him to be there with her, she didn't actually expect him to agree. A little smile twitched at the corner of her lips and she nodded before polishing off the croissant.
His question made her snort, which she tried to cover up with a cough. What made it worst was that the last bit of croissant in her mouth was inhaled wrongly while she did so and she ended up actually coughing. She quickly grabbed her milk and gulped it down to ease her throat.
"Jesus. I'm sorry. What makes you think I have a boyfriend? Did my lack of allure not tip you off?" She asked after her coughing subsided.
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Post by Trix on Sept 2, 2017 18:19:28 GMT
The dead, but never mourned Will reached out to her as she started to choke, ready to give her the Heimlich or mouth-to-mouth...or whatever was necessary! He assessed the situation, as he had been taught to do in situations such as this, and realized that she had just inhaled a piece down the wrong pipe, but that it hadn't actually gotten stuck. She took her drink and coughed more until she finally seemed to get ahold of herself. He retracted his hand once she recovered and sat back, still watching and observing her reaction to his question. It seemed like a harmless thing to ask, but perhaps they weren't on decent enough terms for that quite yet.
Her answer sparked some irritation within him. 'Lack of allure' was not how he'd describe her. She was hard to like, a real pain in the ass, but she was incredibly alluring. Just looking at her, he could list the things about her appearance alone that sucked him in. He averted his eyes back down to his hands for fear of his thoughts betraying him. Will let out a short laugh and shook his head, "It was a precautionary question. Just didn't want to have to look over my shoulder for some burly guy looking for a fight. For his sake of course," He looked up and offered her a smirk at that last part.
And yet he didn't feel satisfied by what he'd said. "You are plenty alluring though, I'm sure. Just a little bit snappish at times," He shrugged, he'd done his best to reassure her and yet give nothing away. He couldn't very well have her know that he thought any certain way of her other than that she was annoying and rude, but occasionally tolerable. "I didn't realize that question was going to cause you to choke though, I thought it was harmless enough."
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