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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Feb 2, 2018 3:56:28 GMT
333 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
Throwing up sounded good right now. Violently dying in the bathroom where no one would find her body also sounded good right now. What had she gotten herself into? It was supposed to be a fun night, one fun night, that's all she'd asked for. She never expected it to carry over a few weeks later when she didn't start her period and had actually been begging to bleed or feel one of those terrible cramps. And yet, when she peed on the stick, waited the allotted amount of time and saw the little plus sign, she knew that her life was better off being over.
Layla hadn't hesitated, she grabbed the stick, shoved it in her dresser in the far back corner where no one would dare look, grabbed shoes, her keys and her wallet. Moments later, she was climbing out the window onto the roof and climbing down the side of her house the way she had dozens of times before she was...she couldn't even think the word. Climbing into the car, she sped off in the direction of the only place she could think to go.
She'd calculated the time it took her to get there years ago. Five minutes and twenty three seconds. She'd done it this time in about three minutes this time. Putting the car in park, she sat there for a minute. What was she even going to do? What was Patch going to do? What did she expect to come from this? Finally, she got out of the car and walked up the path to the door. Typically she'd have felt comfortable enough just walking in, but this time, she was surprised she'd even made it to the door. Her knuckles rapped quietly and she stood there, her eyes staring forward. She hadn't even cried yet.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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0 likes
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Feb 2, 2018 17:31:59 GMT
125 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
Patch was having a midnight snack in the living room when he heard the door. He frowned and brought his sandwich over to the fronr door and opened it. Of all people, he hadn't expected his best friend looking like death warmed over.
"Jeez, Lay. It's late. What happened?" He asked before ushering her in. He briefly looked up the stairs to see if his parents had been woken up but everything was quiet. He turned back to Layla and frowned slightly. "Seriously...you don't look okay." He said, sliding his arm through hers as he moved her to the couch. He placed the sandwich on the table before going to the kitchen to get a bottle of water, handing it to her when he returned.
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Feb 3, 2018 3:58:57 GMT
323 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
The door opened to her best friend and she could feel her legs starting to shake. If he hadn't looped his arm through hers, she was pretty sure she would have fallen. Would that have hurt the baby? It wasn't even a baby yet. Her face felt numb, her whole body did except for her stomach. It was like it was vibrating, a beacon of the giant mistake she'd made with the worst person she could possibly think of. His questions remained unanswered as she followed him.
Layla took a seat on the couch and her eyes followed him when he went to the kitchen. He brought back a bottle of water and she took it, despite not really feeling like intaking anything. She set the bottle of water on the coffee table in front of her and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees. How was she even supposed to say the words? Instead of trying, she took his hand and gave him what she could.
The way her ability worked was frustrating. She was still trying to learn how to cohesively display her memories the way that they happened, but she could only show it in fragments with real concentration. Her eyes glazed over and she went through the memory. It started with her in her room, pacing. She managed to skip over the actual peeing on the stick and went straight to the results. The memory acted like a video and when the results were shown, her eyes had zeroed in on the plus sign, zooming in and not long after the memory faded and she released his hand. Layla put her head in her hands and raked her fingers through her hair, "I...I can't." She couldn't be a mother.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Feb 3, 2018 5:54:29 GMT
203 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
He didn't say anything when Layla put the bottle away. His concern grew by the second and when Layla took his hand, he squeezed it lightly. He braced himself for what was to come and went rigid when it was over.
Surprisingly, his mind was blank when he realised why she was the way that she was. His shadows crept in around him as he let her hand go. Her voice sounded distant as Patch stood up and stepped away from the couch. He ran his fingers through his hair and stared at Layla.
They were too young. She was too young.
And then thoughts came rushing through and he thought about how Layla's parents were going to react. Hell, he wondered how his parents were going to react because there was no way in hell Layla's parents were going to let her stay with them anymore. From the way she was acting, he wasn't even sure if she was going to keep the baby.
It took him a while but he finally walked over to Layla and got on his knees in front of her, taking her hand. This was happening to her. He didn't matter. "What are you going to do?"
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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0 likes
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Feb 3, 2018 6:06:13 GMT
282 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
When he stood up and paced in the opposite direction, she felt like she could read his mind. It was mirroring hers, just like it usually did. He was thinking about her parents, her living arrangement, and what she was going to do with what she was given. Layla didn't care what her parents thought about her. She was already their mess, their problem. If anything, it gave her some grim satisfaction that she was proving them right and ruining their face value with their friends. At least if she kept it, she'd always be a mistake to them. But she couldn't possibly put that on Patch's family. Taking her in, helping her through the pregnancy. It wasn't fair.
Her eyes only shifted up when he began walking towards her. He knelt down to her level and took her hand. Up until then, she hadn't been sure she'd be able to cry because she was in so much shock, but with her own fears staring back at her through his eyes, she felt tears well up and her lip trembled. Layla bit down hard and looked down which caused a tear to fall down her face. She gripped his hand tight and sniffled "What am I supposed to do, Patch?"
Layla took a shaky breath and shook her head, "I'm not a good person. I can't raise a kid. I don't even know how." She pressed the heel of her free hand against her forehead and groaned, "What the fuck is wrong with me?"
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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0 likes
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Feb 3, 2018 6:18:31 GMT
79 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
Patch shook his head and squeezed her hand when she began to beat herself up. "Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. You have to stop blaming yourself." Patch said.
He knew Layla had her issues, it had been a focal point of their relationship at one time but she couldn't honestly blame herself for this.
"Talk to mom. Stay the night and then tomorrow talk to her. Promise me you won't do anything before you talk to her, okay?"
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Feb 3, 2018 6:26:41 GMT
187 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
Layla dropped her hand and looked at him levelly. How could he say that and think it was true? Everything was wrong with her. She was a mess. She shouldn't be allowed to influence a child in any sort of way. Her whole life she'd been spending it blaming herself because the only other place she had blame to put was on her parents, but it never satisfied her. It was just easier putting it on herself.
But it was his fault, too. God, she couldn't even think about telling the father. It made her convulse just thinking about it.
Her eyes widened and she shook her head, "No. I can't. Patch, she's going to hate me. Just like they do. Your parents are the only family I have, I can't handle them looking at me the way mine do." Her tears started falling faster and she felt her heartbeat picking up rapidly as panic started to sink in.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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0 likes
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Feb 3, 2018 6:37:05 GMT
130 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
Layla looking at him that way made him shake his head again. He didn't need her to blame herself for her flaws on top of having to deal with this crisis.
Her refusal made him get on the couch and pull her into his arms, squeezing tight. He made soothing noises as he ran his hand up and down her back. "No way. No way she's going to hate you. She'll understand, Layla. She knows what it's like. You just have to talk to her. She'll understand, I promise."
Patch knew his mom. There were things about her past that she had shared with him and his father. And apart from her being a damn good nurse, she was also a damn good mother. Layla had nothing to worry about.
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Feb 3, 2018 6:49:51 GMT
210 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
With his arms around her, Layla tried desperately to calm down. She'd been hollow up until then and now she couldn't even stop crying. She wrapped her arms around his neck while her body convulsed with each sob. The only thoughts that had gone through her head were about losing everyone she had. For something as stupid as a teenage pregnancy. She was only sixteen and she didn't have much, she couldn't imagine losing what little she had.
Layla buried her face in his shoulder and wrapped her arms tighter around him, "Everyone's going to leave me. All because of this stupid mistake. I can't do this, I can't lose everyone." By this point, she wondered if he'd even be able to make out the words that she was saying. It all hit her like a train, the gut-wrenching fear and worry about what her life would turn into over nine months of carrying it all before giving birth. Her life was already crazy and wild and reckless, she couldn't bring a child into that. Not with the way she was living.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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0 likes
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Feb 4, 2018 18:15:25 GMT
174 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
Patch let her speak. Right now, he knew whatever he said wasn't going to get through to her so he just let her be.
Truth was, ever since he met Layla, there was no doubt in his mind that she was his soulmate. Not even in a romantic way, really. They seemed to be on the same level in so many ways. Yes, they fought. Sometimes over the stupidest things but it never got to a point where they ever thought the other wasn't worth it.
He let her cry for as long as she wanted. All he did was run his hand up and down her back in a comforting manner. He didn't know how long they were in that position before he laid down and pulled her close, turning her so she could breathe easier.
"You're not going to lose me, Layla. You're not gonna lose mom and dad either. They love you." He paused to let it sink in. "Talk to mom tomorrow. For right now, just go to sleep okay?"
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Feb 4, 2018 18:39:15 GMT
308 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
It took her a lot longer to calm down than she'd hoped. Crying in front of anyone didn't sit well with her, even if it was Patch. He'd been her best friend for the last five years, he knew everything about her that she really didn't even know about herself. He'd seen her cry a handful of times, each year on the anniversary of her brother's death, but this was different. This was something that could have been prevented and wasn't. And all she could think was how silly she'd been thinking that nothing would go wrong.
She absorbed whatever comfort he could offer her, eventually focusing on the way his hand went up and down on her back so that she could slow her breathing and make the tears stop falling. Her arms stayed wrapped around his neck and she was just thankful for having someone that didn't hesitate when she came over at midnight a mess. She turned her face in and buried it in his neck before she pulled back and wiped at her face. Despite him being her best friend, she still hated looking a mess in front of him.
It was natural, when he laid down, for him to pull her close. They'd slept like this dozens of times before. Her eyes already felt heavy and with his warmth spreading through the rest of her, she knew it wouldn't take long for her to fall asleep. It was always harder sleeping on her own. His words soaked in and she sighed, pulling his arms tighter around her, "I love you, Patch." Her eyes slid shut and she listened to him breathing before she fell asleep.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Feb 5, 2018 2:53:13 GMT
305 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
Her sleepy remark brought a smile to his face and he pressed his lips against the back of her head. "I love you, Lay." He responded and waited for her to fall asleep.
He was way too wired now to do that so after a bit, he got up off the couch and drew a blanket over her and went to the computer to do some research on pre-natal care. As an afterthought, he looked for clinics that did abortions as well. He honestly didn't know where Layla was going to end up going on this.
Eventually, he did grow tired and he took his position back on the couch and fell asleep almost immediately. It was how his parents found them the next day.
His mom knew exactly what to say and she outlined all the options Layla had. She didn't sugarcoat things, a trait Patch inherited from her, but she made sure that Layla knew she was on her side. His father was quiet through it all but knew Layla's situation, which didn't surprise Patch when he ended up offering their home up to Layla should things go south with her parents.
Patch's mother was adamant in making Layla tell her parents. She was also open about the fact that she had gotten an abortion before Patch came along and only found out that her parents would have been supportive of her no matter what after Patch was born. She lost so much time with her parents because of her pride and shame.
They left the conversation for Patch and Layla to continue between themselves and all Patch could do was look at Layla, smug as ever. He grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and set them on the kitchen table before sitting down across from her, not saying a word.
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Feb 5, 2018 5:44:40 GMT
390 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
The conversation with Patch's mom had gone just as he'd told her. With all of the information, Layla was certain that she had made up her mind. There was a look in his mother's eye that told her that abortion wasn't the way to go. It was bad enough that she lost her baby brother, she realized that she couldn't abort the tiny being inside of her. It wouldn't be fair, and a small part of her could almost hear her brother telling her that it wasn't right. The baby was important or rather, it would be soon enough. But even with her mind made up, there were so many things left for her to figure out.
Like telling her parents. They had a reputation that they cared far more for than they cared about her. And while she could tell that Patch's mother didn't seem to believe that when Layla said it, Layla knew that her home would turn into a war zone and that it would get nasty very quick. There were too many hard feelings between her and her parents for her to think anything better would happen. She didn't want to rely on her best friend and his family to take care of her through the pregnancy though, willing as they may have been, it wasn't fair, so she had yet to figure out where she was going to go. And then there was a matter of money because babies weren't cheap.
After hugging his mother for dear life and thanking both of his parents for all that they'd done for her up until now, Layla was left with her best friend who sat there, smug and annoying. She stared at the water bottles in front of them, refusing to meet his eyes because she knew that if she did, she'd want to chuck the bottle at him. He may have been right, but that didn't change anything. She had every reason to question the motives and intentions of the people in her life, even if they were good people...especially if they were good people.
"You can wipe that look off your fucking face any time now."
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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0 likes
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Feb 5, 2018 6:45:55 GMT
100 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
"What look?" He asked. Even his tone was dripping with self-righteousness. He knew he shouldn't really be teasing her right then but he couldn't help it, really. They were both beyond the whole walking on eggshells part of their relationship and he took advantage of that every second he got it.
"Oh you mean the I told you look? Nah, I'm keeping it. Because I told you mom and dad weren't gonna leave you." He shrugged. "Nobody listens to me in this house."
He paused in his teasing as he looked at her. "So...you still need time to think?"
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Trix on Feb 5, 2018 6:54:48 GMT
244 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
"I want you to take a moment and think about something for me," She began slowly, her eyes lifting from the bottles of water to his. "Think of how violent I am normally and add onto that the inevitable pregnancy hormones that I'm going to be dealing with. Do you really want to keep fucking with me?" This was so normal for them. It didn't matter what either of them went through, the other, while supportive, was still a complete asshole about 'I told you so's'.
His question had her taking a deep breath and letting it out, her hand hesitantly placed over her stomach. There wasn't a bump yet, but she could have sworn she felt it in there. It was early, but it was still a baby. It was a human in the making. She'd made up her mind and she didn't care what the consequences were going to be. She didn't have to do it alone.
Layla chewed on her lip, "I shouldn't keep it, but I'm not aborting it. I don't care what my parents say or what Riley wants to do. I'll find a way to make sure it gets what it needs." Even if that meant a life without knowing her, she figured it might be better off that way.
but always keep them on a leash
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